The Veteran's Hall, Bike Rides and the Blue Jello
I finally picked up my bicycle as it had been sitting, all put together again, at the shop for almost 2 weeks before I had the decency to come and retrieve it. With the newly reassembled bicycle in mind I was thinking of where to ride in the neighborhood. It was then I thought of OB and the time he took me to the VFW Hall at the end of the beach on Veteran's Day. He had to sign in and we had beers in warm small glasses. There were windows that looked out onto the ocean but the bar stools all faced the wall. I remember there were old men who were there, not many, and they didn't really notice us much. Most memorable was the smell and look of overwhelming dullness the room possessed. The years of unfiltered cigarette smoke had provided a translucent coating that seemed to cover everything. The dust and sticky smoke residue quietly robbed the once bright colored medals, framed photos and plaques on the walls of their glorious shine and made them feel irrelevant - like relics of a time forgotten. But there was also a sense of quiet despair that the room embodied. There was no idle conversation to be had (at least not by me) in that room. I clearly was a tolerated guest here and although honored to be there, I felt ashamed and unworthy of the whole experience. OB was a veteran and had seen combat. I didn't connect him with those men or the pictures on the walls and the sadness of the place at all. His Navy was young men and aviator shades and adventure, trust, honor and training. There didn't seem to be anything so bleak about it. Not like this.
I realize now, of course, that their commonality is the fact that that in service of your country you can die, you may kill other people and you most likely will make friends who will die. That is about as profound as it gets. Now it seems obvious that these men were once just like OB, as bright and full of honor and skill and still are in their way. But it really didn't seem like it that day. Not then. The bar seemed like it existed in another time entirely, to be visited with reverence and respected with quiet conversations about nonfrivolous things. I find it so strange that I didn't think about it then. It's so much to think about even now. I haven't heard from OB in a while. Last I hear he was in charge of a boat in the Mediterranean somewhere. I hope he's ok.
Of course, I didn't go bike riding. Not to the VFW hall and not to anywhere else today. In place of such healthy exercise I organized my bills and general financial outlook for the next few months. Then I had a big drink : )
I am getting frustrated with juggling clubs. I don't seem to be getting better. I ordered some Mega Balls from John Nord so I can really go back to basics. I've been practicing with other kinds of balls but it's annoying because they bounce everywhere (duh). I need to get my 3 ball pattern really tight before expecting my club pattern to evolve (double duh) : )
Handfulls of chocolate do not make for the best breakfast (just an FYI). Blueberries, however, are highly underrated as the "my cereal tastes 500% better now" fruit of the summer. I am loving the blueberries and trying not to eat too much of anything. Failing, but trying.
My PC woes have finally been solved by the compassionate E. He is a husband of a friend and he took it upon himself to not only rid my PC of unwanted viruses, but to add memory and fix the rig up in general. It is wonderful to have friends who care (and manage IT groups!). On a note to the contrary - I had an interesting conversation with some young men who are MIT graduates and long time acquaintances from the bar. I was telling them about the myriad PC issues (mostly because they were dominating my life at the time and I required sympathy at least) and one of then raised his nose just ever so slightly and told me "well, we didn't go to MIT to be IT guys". His complete lack of empathy aside, I was shocked at his smug confidence that this was an appropriate thing to say. I felt as if someone had slapped me across the face.
I should have said "You're so right Biff, that kind of labor is really best left to the troglodyte plebians who's parents obviously lacked the means to send them to prep-school and require them to never work an honest day in their whole soulless, superior, reality skimming, ridiculous lives". Instead, my friend C. said "No, I assume you must have gone there to become an insufferable snob." to which I added "Was that extra or was it part of the basic tuition?" We left shortly after that, but it struck me that anyone would say such a thing and not even think that perhaps it might not be well received. As if "everyone" must know that people who graduated from MIT are in a higher caste that the rest. No one ever forced anyone to drink so much that they died at my University. That's a low blow, but I was hurt. Sniff sniff - Go Terriers!
This week: I got TWO care packages in the mail from good friends who care about me,
Robby sent me 2 postcards, J. and I had lunch and serially returned to the salad bar all afternoon (hee hee), my dad and I found the best lobster sandwich for only $8 in East Cambridge, K. and I did nothing for 4 hours except be girlfriends hangin out, my mom made blue jello last night and we ate it with about 3 lbs of fat free Cool Whip each (fun), my sister-in-law and I stayed up til all hours of the morning talking about life (so nice), I'm going to a baby shower tomorrow AND a rock concert the next night with friends. To sum up: my life is more or less a whirlwind of fantastic experiences.
I would have to say, generally speaking and artfully avoiding the topic of gainful employment, that things are looking up for me.
Things are gonna change I can feel it.
