This week will not end... ever, seriously.

Since Sunday night I have not slept more than 5 hours - my brain feels like it's rattling around in my head, I can't think clearly... Christmas is Monday? What happened to the hours - there's so few remaining. Yikers!

Walked over to Cambridge to shop - I don't think a 30 minute walk in the drizzling December mist was necessarily the *best* idea - but I thought it would clear my head and I guess it did, sort of. Listening to Elliott Smith's "I Didn't Understand" - what a great song. It sounds like a hymn when it starts - these soft voices singing so sweetly about something so sad and cursing liberally, of course. I love that line "I don't know why/ I guess that I just do" - I think it just reminds me of how resigned we can become to what we perceive is our destiny or at least, our pattern to keep repeating throughout our lives. But I really don't believe that we are so stuck in the behaviors that we have cultivated into a state of mind throughout our lives. Well, that being said, Elliott Smith was depressed for most of his life struggled with alcohol and hard drugs. Yah... so anyway,

Ever feel confused and exhausted and yet happy at the same time? K. has been sick - in the hospital for 3 days - was released today and is home. Saw him in the hospital Thursday night - it made me remember visiting my brother in the hospital when he hurt his shoulder playing football and my dad when he had his gallbladder removed... everyone seems so different when they are in a hospital gown and surrounded by sick people. It reminds me of how fragile we all are without all of the trappings of our every day lives - separated and stripped down to your gentle flesh. It makes me glad to have so many friends and close family in my life. It matters so much. I threatened to whip out the Keri lotion and rub his feet and cut his toenails - he was afraid I was serious - I was - and really... he was right to be afraid (I'm a persistent nurse) : )

Miss K is moving - stressing and dealing with so much change and hardness - yet, still managing to offer me compassion, a listening ear and the sage like wisdom that I rely on her to give me when I don't feel like I understand anything anymore.

It's so late - apartment is a wreck - must... wrap... gifts. Sleep is for suckers : )

Until later,
Katy