Hola.

I have joined the IM revolution. If I know you and might want to IM you send me your ID and we can chat : ) I only have three IDs on my buddy list so I feel like I'm not really cool. I mean, I feel like that anyway most of the time, yah yah yah you know the rest of that post.

So I would like to talk about friendship, loyalty, faith and strength. I often feel like I don't possess enough of these qualities to be the person I would like to be ideally. It's not something I think about all the time, but I'm thinking about it tonight. My friend J. is in a situation now where she is helping a friend of hers who has suffered a devastating loss and ongoing pain and trauma in the aftermath. She has been with this friend for almost three days now and is really maxing out in each of these personal areas, undoubtedly providing invaluable comfort and strength to her friend. I hope that in a similar situation I could do the same, but honestly I don't know if I could. I see myself crumbling in the face of actual emotional devastation rather than being able to maintain perspective and provide comfort and wisdom. I see myself withdrawing and retreating from the danger at hand rather than rolling up my sleeves and pitching in.

I could be wrong, I don't know. The truth that lingers for me is that it is these moments in our lives: death, birth, sickness, poverty, desperate need that we are afforded the luxury of viewing ourselves in a light that reveals things about us that we don't normally consider. We don't include them when we write our resumes or various fictions or even blog entries. It's not necessarily a more important element of who we are, but I would venture to say it reveals more about how functional we are in our humanity. I think that how able we are to reach out and relate, help, sacrifice, love - I think that is a measure worthy of our attention. I would like to feel more functional in my humanity if that makes any sense.

I keep hearing songs on the oldies station about love. Most recently, "Love is but a song we sing, fear's the way we die," I realize I am venturing into dangerously corny territory here, but I guess the point is that I wish I smiled on my brother (metaphorically) more and I shall endeavor to do so more.

Also, um... vote for Kerry.

Sleep Tight Tonight.

Peace brothers & sisters